| i wrote this so long ago.. but sometimes it feels like yesterday. |
[18 Jul 2009|01:52pm] |
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i hate my own bones.
why cant they bend like the models in the magazines?
this is a warm up class for the plane crash that i call my self-esteem.
the pressure to perform is something that i cannot ignore.
sex is only in the form of text when it comes to my own context.
and thoughtlessness is just a reflex
i under eat and fail to meet my status qoua
lip lockers are sweet talkers and i havent been locked up in a quite some time. (bitter)
i fly solo at every chance i get
isolation in vain is the name of my game.
i bottle up and bottle my bottle shut.
its the method to my medium.
i have an entourage of camouflage.
we crash parties with pastries and daisies.
my best friends are:
my Tréo, my macintosh, my hoodies, my dunks, my chucks, my rock & republics, my vitamin water,my iPod, my DVDs, my medication, my MySpace.
together we lead lavish lifestyles.
i only seek sanity within this tight knit group...
and though they may lack a pulse
they keep me from falling to my false alter-ego
i am on the fence when it comes to reality and sickness.
if it werent for them...
id be a shit talker with a sluts sex drive.
its pathetic that i cannot cope with my self doubt.
its pathetic that i seek comfort in harmful things.
its pathetic that i cant keep up with my life.
its pathetic.
the skin that wraps me tight is putting up a good fight.
i am slipping and this isnt the blast i wanted.
this isnt the path i wanted.
i have been under this cloud in the past...
i am shaking with fear of a relapse.
a record i wrote is helping people and giving them hope...
but now i need to write another one just so i can have some to...
i am calling all cars once again, but i dont even have their new numbers.
if i had a choice right now... i would take a bow.
leave my peers with a grin somehow
but id take a bow.
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| you belong with me |
[23 Jun 2009|12:41pm] |
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mood |
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 cheerful |
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music |
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Taylor Swift - You Belong With Me (don't hate!) |
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I am the advantage of the new age A lucky boy or a lyrical decoy? I continue to keep you guessing with every line that i deploy My forte is the way I align my lines I lace them up around your ankles
and I wont stop until they tie up your mind You can cut the hype with a knife But I prefer to pop culture with my pen Yeah we lived our lives under lights As we aged on stage Yeah we aced the craze The luxury of liberty You belong in the league above me
gotta keep thinking
gotta keep you thinking
hey isn't this easy?
love from Shaant H? or Shaant W?
we'll let you know tomorrow.
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| Quick Weekend Hiatus |
[19 Jun 2009|11:55am] |
just found out I'm going away in like.. an hour and I need to pack everything.
I don't wanna get kicked D: so this goes for
Shaant, Hanna-Beth, Valentin and Curtis Ward.
please and thank you. D:
I'll miss you all.
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[26 May 2009|11:42pm] |
i judged her by her thighs and the way she would critisize my every move.
i indulged in the best of the best with a lack of sex and a hint of...
i am obsessed. i'll admit
and when i have a nervous twitch, i will face it
because my Tréo can only do so much
it's gotta killer tone but it lacks your touch
and now...so ironically
the screen reaching out at me with it's caller ID
it's *you* i see.
....i have a question to ask you.. that has my nails in jeporady.
the self issued pressure has my knees pressed up against my chest
i wince once my lips drop the line and you catch it in your time zone.
i have had myself convinced that i can hold my own but i am quickly doubting that as i wait for your response.
my stomach is weak and dropping.
my hands have a twitch and i cant tell which is which...
i want to intervene with explanation but i can't overcome this anticipation..
i have the plans all pinned up and mapped
i can promise you that.
it's only one date.
one where we can dress to dress or impress to impress.
just as friends or just obsessed.
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[22 May 2009|12:01pm] |
After what feels like a year of silence I reserve the right to refuse your tours of abuse. A ringless finger is something that one should relay to those who linger on the right side of things. Rise above and make love.  You suffer from a coffee cup complex & If you seek advise from me,
I'll just reflect and reverse the context You can't see me, if I can't see you
& Currently my selfish eyes are years overdue I'm still uncertain as to who I have pay the fines to
Is it, me, myself or you? Who benefits from the stagnant revenue?
god this makes my head hurt.
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[03 May 2009|04:15pm] |
A man at such a young age
Lucky enough to find 'himself ' but only when he's onstage
From the moment he steps off
He suffers from the 'Lack plague'
Where confidence runs and his selfe'steam' loses it's heat
On stage is the only place
Where the two symptoms amicably meet.
And although sound in mind his body walks an insecure line
He keeps telling himself .... 'it's only a matter of... mine.'So here it goes: This is for the girl in the lavender dress
The one who makes my mouth and tongue a mess
The sun hits her face in such a manner
That I swear I could taste... her lips are as bold as a banner
A flower or a flavor
I only need an emotional waiver because I have no idea what Im about to do
What I'm capable of...
Waist to waist.
A runny nose with high cheek bones
She strikes a pose, yet no one knows
And that's my favorite part
Besides my ability to notice the empty shopping cart that she calls her 'heart'
Luckily for me, Im not on sale, Im free
-$haant-
I hope everyone is smiling as big as I am right now.
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[28 Mar 2009|12:06am] |
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I really enjoy this song.
It's Mornin' time and the girls still there
They lying naked with some Asses in the air (That's what I'm talkin' bout)
Anna wants it bad she's got some big kahunas
But I say I'll be back gotta get some more Coronas
xoxo shaantaholic
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[24 Feb 2009|12:06pm] |
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My name is Shaant,
I write words and prance for Cute Is What We Aim For.
When I am not globe trotting, I reside in Chicago, Buffalo, NY.
I cook at least twice a day. You could call me a culinary canary, constantly smitten just singing in the kitchen.
After 22 years I'm still searching for the norm and avoiding it at all costs.
There is something romantic about being lost. At any rate, the rest of me is something that the world, including myself may never see.
I've found that life is a risk and I am the sort of person who never wants to say ' I missed...'.
Bottom line, I'll ride the cliché for a moment and say, 'live your life like its your last day.'
I fell in love with words back in the day.
Although I sometimes tend not do them justice, I find them to be so illustrious.
Grammatically speaking, sometimes Im unbearably bearable.
I will beg or buy your trust.
I find that my finest notes are the ones that still reside within my throat.
shaantattheIHOP get it? got it?
good.
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[05 Dec 2008|11:30pm] |
there's this boy i know..
he's pretty much perfect..
he's pregnant too..
he's so beautiful..
i know i'm in love.
i've taken him to Paris for christmas..
because after christmas he won't be able to fly..
he's perfect.
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[01 Dec 2008|03:02pm] |
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baby number..... three!
friends need only apply here:
shaantatheihop
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[01 Aug 2008|01:25am] |
i miss my: babies, my lover.. my band my father.  thank you Dave for keeping me sane.
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[22 Jul 2008|08:09pm] |
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patience is a preference sought by those who crave virtue.
at this point i am uncertain if i am one of the few who do.
crippled by the thought of losing
rehabilitated by the thought of gaining a free flow from finger tips that feel fake
blisters are present to boast my skins ability to protect from a bone break.
if I sustain this level of pressure I may not have enough to pursue oh me and the crazy things i do. i’ve never been so complete. i hope all of you are as well/ or are trying to be in a similar situation.
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| ooc: this goes for SHAANT, TRACE and CURTIS |
[14 May 2008|07:41pm] |
incase you RP with me under these SN's
shaantattheihop
x dramaking
donfall xaway
tr4c3 i5 d3ad
teh troyxx0rz
i'm going on a 5 day vacation to Manitoba.
I might end up getting online.
if you see me online and say hello, but i dont answer please dont be offended <3
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[05 May 2008|05:10am] |
i err.. everything is great on he homefront.
i miss my mommy but thats nothing unusual haha.
i miss my band and i hope to have one of then cutechats really soooon.
ps; my son is amazing.
pps; i miss jeffereeeeeeee.
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| little bit wild. |
[31 Mar 2008|12:00am] |
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i said i'm down to get a little bit wild
the way you smile, makes me feel like a child.
all eyes on you, you know what to do.
gonna be with you before the night is through.
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